Someone asked me if everything was okay with me. I asked why and she said because I just suddenly focused on blogging and I've been writing about God a lot. The only response I could give her was "God happened". The question just reaffirmed my thoughts that I was away for too long. This post is titled Journey BACK to God and I want to tell you why the 'back' is there. I've believed in God all my life so that wasn't a problem. To be honest, I can't remember when I officially dedicated my life to Christ for the first time but it was a long time ago in my teenage years. I even got baptized. I want to believe my faith and walk with God was strong some years ago until an incident happened to me. It goes without saying that my perception of strong was not enough to pull me back to God and know that it was the devil at work. The incident coupled with the fact that my "I'm-strong-on-the-outside" look deceived friends that could help that I was fine. I fell into a dark place. It was a serious one o, I can't even describe it. Even my poems then were dark (e.g Suicide) It was during this period I abandoned God. I didn't read my devotional, I didn't pray first thing in the morning, barely went to church which even made me to leave the group I was in, I started new habits (nothing outrageous though lol). Anyway, I don't regret this dark period because aside from the great people I met, it made me find my way back. On the other hand, life was progressing well and that's the danger of been in a dark phase. It's like a grey zone, you don't realize how far you've gone away from the light because you can still see.

At the beginning of this year, like some people, I also planned to take my devotional seriously. Like I said, I was in a grey zone so I still knew the importance of having God close. Before I could say j..ack, January was over and I was only day 4 into the devotional. I'm not ashamed to say this because I'm sure I'm not the only one that went through or is going through this. As God would have it, as a necessity, I had to fast and pray for someone close to me. This went on for weeks and when God answered the prayers, it was back to the grey zone me. But you know the awesome thing about doing good, you sow a seed for yourself. I had sown the seed of fasting and praying without even knowing it. Months later, this seed was calling me to wet it so it can grow but I was too stubborn to listen. I still went on with my daily routine without God.

How I got back on my feet? I had a dream months back and dismissed it with a little prayer, nothing serious. In May, I had the exact dream again. At this point, I was scared because I've never had the same dream twice so the first thing I did was to message a mentor of mine about the dream. Funny enough, he was quite busy and I was supposed to remind him again but I also just let it go with another prayer. Days to my birthday, (I'm forever a birthday person, I like to plan and all that but this year was different) I was sad, my heart was heavy and I just wanted the day to come and go. The day eventually passed and after something happened, I decided to help myself by running, in fact I ran faster than a lightning bolt, back to God. I don't know if these next info is TMI but if its just one person it helps, God sees. I sacrificed a lot to find my way back, I went off social media for 2 weeks but nobody understood why. In those two weeks, I fasted for myself and everyone that I could fast for. I didn't do it alone, a friend joined me and this is why good friends are important, to encourage and push you towards a common goal. I was determined to get back to God, to get my life back from evil strongholds, to get my purpose in sight, to leave the grey zone and go towards the heavenly light.

It's been a month and some days since I got my life back and I've never been happier. I eventually understood the dream and what it meant was that a new me would be born but it will be painful in terms of the sacrifice I had to make. For my friend and I, we've experienced miracles undeserved. Please tell me how I will not tell people about God. So to the people that have asked the same question, I am not selfish and that is the reason why I talk about God a lot now because I want people to also experience His glory. You won't regret it. And to my people struggling to get back on their feet, know that the devil can knock you down 99 times but that one time you stand up, the devil is right below your feet and you will never fall again if God is your anchor. One thing to remember is that you will have to sacrifice a lot to God if you want Him to help you. He already sacrificed His son, it's your turn. I started this post not knowing what and how I will write but I've written a lot and would stop here so it won't be a long read.

Perhaps you are looking for someone to fast with and encourage you or if you want me to share the notes I made during my long fast, please don't hesitate to message me. I'm available to help you, I will also write another post on what to do/how to progress after you've gotten your life back on track with God. Thanks for reading. Please share, it could help someone. Please read 2 Peters 1: 3-10